All The Supernatural Feelings

When Dean pulls into the cemetery at the end of Swan Song, can you imagine the rush of thought it would cause Sam? Trapped behind Lucifer’s influence he can’t express any of them, but he’s got to be screaming them at the top of his mental lungs.

— 

First, the shock.  

What’s that sound? … is that… Holy crap, that’s the car. That’s… Dean. It’s Dean! Dean, what are you doing here? Dean, what are you doing?

Then, the worry.

Do not get out of your car. Do not - Dean, stop. Dean, this isn’t going to do any good, Dean, please leave, please, he said that he’d keep you alive. He said he’d keep you alive, so just go!

Then, the panic.

Go! Go, because knowing you’re alive, it’s all I’ve got left! Dean, Dean, no! 

Then, the rage.

Lucifer, Lucifer stop! I swear that I will ruin you! I don’t care how long it takes, I don’t care what you do to me, I will find a way to end you from the inside out! I will fucking kill you! STOP! 

Then, the warmth. 

Dean, I… I can’t… This is what you came here for? I… Dean, you’re everything, Dean. You are the one thing in my life that made it worth living. You are the one reason I would never change a thing. Dean, Dean I…

Then, the love. 

Dean, I love you. Dean, I couldn’t have done this without you. Dean, I… ”It’s okay, Dean. It’s gonna be okay. I got him.”

—

For that entire time, all Sam could do was chant Dean’s name like a mantra, repeat it over and over as his brother stood there against all the might of heaven and hell for him. Because he loved him. Because no matter what happened, they would go through it together. Because they are each other’s soul mate, whatever route that takes, whatever it truly means. 

In Dark Side of the Moon, when Zachariah decided it would be fun to attempt to rearrange Dean’s guts via physical force? Every time he hit Dean, Sam would react immediately. He’d flinch and jerk, grimacing in pain. And not just in the way most of us do, as a “ouch, that looks like it hurt” kind of reaction. No. Sam reacts as though he were the one being hit.

But, really, it’s because he was. He was feeling every bit of pain Dean felt vicariously, because when his brother was injured, so was he.  He is so in tune with Dean, runs on the same wavelength, /feels/ the same damn things. The pain on his face was physical and real even though nobody laid a finger on him. 

I love those two. God, I love those two so much. This ship owns me.